Bubbleboy’s world is antiseptic

The world is a dangerous place full of creepy crawly things, nasty bugs that make your stomach churn, your nose run, your head hurt. Sometimes worse.

Where are the wipes??

Thankfully our bodies have learned to deal with most of them with the help of our immune system. At least that was then. Now, advanced species that we are, we have decided that entrusting our lives and health to something as unreliable as our immune system is way too risky, especially since Target offers large containers of antiseptic wipes at really good prices.

If wiping our hands once we must, of course, wipe the hands of our little ones three times and their faces as well, while we are at it. Who knows where those little fingers have been and what has touched those rosebud lips. And once you start the wiping you realize how dirty a place we live in and so, logically, you start disinfecting it all.

I grew up cooking soup for my dolls containing mainly water and dirt. I tried it myself before feeding it to my dollies – had to make sure it was fit for consumption. Right now, I am trying to imagine the little girls at the local park, mixing water and sand, sticking their fingers in and having a taste. Somehow the picture won’t materialize, instead I see a freaked-out mother pulling out a big box of antiseptic wipes at the first sign of dirt wiping everything clean, accompanied by a stern lecture on the mortal danger of ever being in close contact with anything that wasn’t sterilized, wiped, cleaned and finally inspected and approved by mom.

And the pictures keep coming: mom wiping off the bench before the kid sits on it (I assume to avoid those nasty wiggle-through-three-layers-of-clothing-bugs), the box of wipes that comes out to wipe down the shopping cart before the kid gets put in (of course not in the cart directly, that’s what those fabric covers that concerned mothers put into the child’s shopping cart sitting place are for), the antiseptic wipe dispenser at the supermarket for killing all those nasty supermarket-infesting bugs that have jumped on us by walking the aisles and piling spaghetti and bananas into our carts.

We live in an antiseptic world, no wonder our bodies don’t know what to do should they run into a bug after all.

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